I look at her lovingly while she is resting. It’s not quite time for her to go across the Rainbow Bridge into Spirit, but it is getting closer. A golden retriever’s earth life seems so short and I find myself wondering how it passed so quickly.
We adopted Maggie when she was 3 years old. She had experienced much loss in her young life. Joanne, her owner, passed away from leukemia at the age of 47. We knew Joanne, her children and parents, Jacquie and Bob Darby. Maggie’s 12th birthday will be in mid-March. We’re not sure if she will make it to then.
I brushed you today Maggie and your fur, thinning a bit now, is soft and silky. Your adorable white face rests on your favorite toy. This is your ‘greeting toy’ as you always pick it up when someone comes to the door. Family is important to you and you are the happiest when we are all together in one room. My husband, Tink Robinson, just returned from a meeting. You don’t have the energy to get up to meet him tonight, but your eyes and your tail flapping on the floor show your love. We sit down beside you to give you a gentle massage.
I will always remember when you first came to live with us. Bob and Jacquie brought you from Edmonton, Alberta. As soon as they pulled into our driveway and opened the van door, you shot past us and charged around our big yard (which soon became ‘your’ yard). Your ‘grandparents’ stayed for a couple of days and as they were leaving, Jacquie warned me that you would be high maintenance for a few months. Truer words were never spoken. But, dear Maggie, you have been so worth it. We gave you all our love (and patience) and you returned it a thousand fold.
After the first visit to the vet, when you pulled me off my feet on your panicky bolt to the door, I took you to obedience classes. Who knew that you would be their star pupil! I so miss taking you to the field where you could run freely. While I would bathe in the breathtaking view of the Rocky mountains, you were digging into the gopher holes. All I could see of you was your fluffy bottom and waving tail. Sometimes, you would have a game of tag with a young red fox, both of you laughing from the sheer joy of playing. When you would hike with us further into the foothills, you looked as if you owned the land. Those were the days when you never seemed to tire.
And in our backyard, I can still see you charging around the apple tree with your own version of ‘can’t catch me’. You would run so fast that you were on an angle, then instantly change directions. No way could I catch you! Then we would both lie down on the grass together, laughing and communing.
The first day that we took you out to Mrs. Doolittle’s Pet Resort (owned by Cathy and Neil Waters), you were in seventh heaven. You got to be a farm dog out there, romp across the hills and valleys with the other dogs and swim in the dugout. Cathy tells us that you were always the first one in the water and the last one to leave. We never understood though why you would try to hide when we mentioned the word, B.A.T.H. To us, after a good wash, you would smell infinitely better than cow manure. The only time you stood patiently in the bathtub was the summer of 2012 when you got skunked, not once, not twice, but three different times! Each encounter happened just before midnight. Good advice for owners of golden retrievers – always keep skunk shampoo and a gallon jug of vinegar on hand.
Your very best dog friend of all is Reya, our kids’ Newfoundlander. You towered over her when you first met, but soon she outgrew you to 145 lbs. When Reya came to visit, you both invented your own game of rough and tumble. Tink snapped the picture perfectly when you both got up at once with Reya standing immediately over you. Now Reya has moved to Ontario and you probably won’t see each other again, at least not in this lifetime.
Yesterday was a fun day for you because you got to go with Tink to one of your favorite places – the Bomber Command Museum. You were so excited to be included and then on top of that, we had company! We were overjoyed to see you laughing. Today, all you want to do is sleep. We still go for short little strolls when your lame leg isn’t acting up. And you do love snow. Every once in a while, you indicate that you would like to play if you just had more energy.
The vet told us that we have to think of how you are feeling, rather than hold on to you too long. We feel the dilemma of wanting you to stay longer while knowing you will be happy and free when you see Joanne again. I know you will always be OK Maggie. Nothing in this lower dimension is permanent. We simply cannot bear to see you suffer.
Promise me that you will let us know when it’s time. Until then, Tink and I are taking turns sleeping downstairs with you. We cherish every moment and are so grateful that you are still here. Tonight I will run and play with you in my dreams.
Dearest Maggie, you are the most precious gift.
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{ 6 comments… read them below or add one }
No finer tribute to a loving friend has ever been written. May you find peace and comfort in these precious memories.
Thank you Jerry. You are such a kind and thoughtful person. Your caring is appreciated. Yes, we are living one day at a time and surrounding Maggie with all our love.
I’m doing my best to type through my tears Judy. I know this journey you are on and how gut wrenching it is. Kipling wrote a poem about dogs in which he asked “Why give your heart to a dog to tear?”, but he, I, you and Tink all know the answer to that question. Dogs are, in my experience, the clearest emissaries from the divine that we have here on earth. When we have to say goodbye, it feels like our hearts are being torn out. I know that when the time comes for her to go, she will stay with you in spirit, ever close and loving you.
Oh Susan, I am reading your comment through tears too. I am so moved by what you said and by your beautiful loving and understanding heart. Maggie had a better day today – you could just see her spirit shining through. I know she is feeling the love and we are too. Blessings, Judy
I’m typing this message through tears. I’m rembering my beloved Chipper who crossed the Rainbow Bridge when I was 18. Also my nephew’s hound Izzy who was tragically hit by a train several years ago. Rod & I helped raise her when we lived in Wasa. Izzy was so smart. She’d go & sit by the busy Alder Cresc. road. Rod would call her back & give her a dog biscuit. A few minuted later, she’d be out there again. This game went on until Rod caught on to what she was doing. When she’d come when he called her, he would just pet her.
Hi Carolyn, when we love a dog, we are forever changed. I can feel your deep love for Chipper and Izzy and the cherished memories they have gifted to you. Thanks you so much for commenting here. Much love always, Judy